Growth Marriage

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How Much Good Could You Do?

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I’ve been listening to a 35-hour lecture series called “Maps of Meaning” by Dr. Jordan Peterson, an author and psychology professor.

The lectures are an exploration of the psychological principles and ideas that give meaning to life.

A few weeks ago I was driving home from the hardware store in a rain storm with a friend of mine. We were listening to the last few minutes of the final lecture when something Dr. Peterson said hit me with a ton of bricks

I find myself thinking about that little section of his lecture often.

I’ve re-listened to that 8 minute excerpt at least a dozen times.

In that excerpt, Dr. Peterson asks a question… and to my estimation, it might be the most important question you could ask yourself.

How much good could you do if you oriented yourself towards the greatest possible good?

There’s so much possibility built into that question.

First is the fact that you are capable of doing good.

Second, there is an implication that you’re capable of being a better version of yourself (more aligned with the greatest possible good) than you are right now.

Third is the idea that you may not know just how much good you could do. You likely have more capacity for doing good than you can even imagine.

And fourth, you can do SO much good even when faced with extreme suffering. Your circumstances don’t determine how aligned you are with the greatest good.

Peterson advises that if you want to test out the power of this idea in your life, the best way to start is by taking responsibility for something in your life that you 1) have control over, and 2) want to change.

So…

Because I am who I am, and I do what I do, I want to pose a question to you…

Is your marriage as good as it could be?

As a partner, are your actions, words, and thoughts aligned with the greatest possible good?

Are there issues you face, burdens you carry, or conflicts you struggle with that could be overcome if you let go of your resentment and hatred?

How would your relationship with your partner change if you TRULY started striving towards the highest possible good?

It’s hard to know.

But one thing is for certain, we can all be better.

All of us.

And there’s NO way to know what kind of impact we could have on our marriages, families, communities, and beyond if we were simply… better.

If we gave the people we loved regular, meaningful compliments.

If we looked for ways to remove suffering from their lives.

If we took responsibility for our own self-esteem, and didn’t require our partners to prop us up and make us feel good.

If we greeted them with a smile and a loving hug every day.

If we truly cared about their problems, and desired that they have a fulfilling life.

If we were willing to always assume good intentions of our partner, or if we worked to tame our tempers, or to take an interest in the people and things that are most important to them.

Can you imagine how things might change?

It’s impossible to measure the impact this one small idea could have on our lives.

Maybe this is too cerebral or idealistic... but I believe it could change the world.

And if you want a place to start aligning your thoughts, actions, words, and desires with the highest possible good, check out the Are We Roommates? Summit.

It’s jam-packed with ideas from the world’s top relationship experts.

I think you’ll love it.

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