Alicia and Peter were such a joy to sit down with and interview. Nate and I laughed so hard the entire time. That's the thing about incredible couples: when you're around them, you cannot help but feel more energized, alive, and joyful.
It was clear from the way they gazed at one another and laughed together that they were completely comfortable being fully themselves around the other person. In essence, they brought out the best, most authentic versions of each other.
That was the first lesson Peter and Alicia taught us:
You know you've found a great partner when you can be completely yourself around the other person. This includes not just the positive range of feelings, but also the freedom to be messy, neurotic, and hurting. You're with your partner more than just about anyone else- and the only person you're with more is yourself. So, choose someone who embraces and catalyzes your fullest self.
This isn't to say every second is perfect and you should never feel negative feelings in the presence of your partner. It just means you get through them more gracefully, because you feel like you have a teammate rather than an opponent.
The second lesson we learned from these two:
"Don't be weird."
Just be yourself. If someone doesn't like you for the person you really are, they aren't for you. You don't need to do the robot. It also means you have to like yourself, though. Are you happy being you? How do people feel when they are around you? How others tend to feel around you a self reflection of the kind of person you are to others and how much you love yourself.
Don't be weird about being your true self- even if your true self is super weird.
And the third great takeaway from Peter and Alicia:
"People put too much emphasis on things that aren't important, and too little emphasis on things that are." - Peter
Make sure you're clear about and proud of your priorities. What's important in a relationship? What's really a big deal, and what isn't worth fighting over?
Communicate clearly about how you feel, and be honest with your partner. That honesty, when coming from a loving, well-intentioned place, will make you stronger as a couple.
Why?
Because there's nothing quite like having a partner you can go through life with, knowing he or she accepts you, even for the things you're embarrassed to admit or afraid to share. That honesty equates to an undeniable freedom, and thus, a deeper love than you could ever imagine.
Thanks, Alicia and Peter, for the great interview- and for making us laugh for over an hour straight!
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