Don't Let Your Dreams be Dreams
Relationship researchers at The Gottman Institute have found that once couples get a solid foundation for a healthy relationship into place - mutual respect, learning to turn towards each other and not away from each other, good conflict management skills - one of the most important things they can do to make their relationship thrive is to pursue each others dreams together.
There's something powerful in helping make someone's dreams become reality. It creates a powerful bond of trust and feelings of excitement, anticipation and shared meaning when you have someone back you up and push you to be your best self.
Pursuing your dreams even opens the door to resolve some of your most complicated conflicts. (Often times the reason behind recurring conflict is unfulfilled or unspoken dreams.)
But before you can support each other in your dreams, you need to allow yourself to dream! It's easy to forget to do that. The pressure to be a responsible, reasonable, rule-following adult may have smothered the dreamer inside you many years ago.
It's time to ask yourself: Where do you want to go? What do you want to accomplish? What problem do you want to solve? What mountain do you want to climb? What adventure do you want to embark on? What hero do you want to meet? What book do you want to read? What book do you want to write? What new hobby do you want to pursue? What value do you want to cultivate? What do you want your kids to say about you at your 50th anniversary party? What do you want written on your tombstone?
Once you let yourself (and your partner) start dreaming... seriously dreaming, you can start to invest your time, resources, thoughts and energy into supporting those dreams as they become goals.
In this week's podcast, Michelle Peterson from the #STAYMARRIED Blog shares with us four different ways to support our partner in their dreams: Emotional support, esteem support, informational support and tangible support.
If you want to learn more about each of these types of support, listen to the podcast or check out this post on the #STAYMARRIED blog.
Don't let your dreams be dreams!
Travel to Europe, go skydiving, get SCUBA certified, learn to dance, go on a hot air balloon ride, learn French, master the perfect chocolate chip cookie, move to the beach, make a plan to pay off your parent's home, start a non-profit, write that book, learn a new instrument and start a band, join a gym, be an amazing friend, perform your first standup comedy routine... live life!