What to do when your family isn't supportive

What do you do if your friends (or your partner's friends) are having a negative effect on your relationship?

How can you respond if they're bringing you down, talking bad about your partner, or marriage in general?

I’ve been getting tons of questions about this… from what to do if you lose weight and starting getting in shape… then your family makes you feel guilty for it. Or you start to work on changing the unhealthy dynamic of your relationship and your partner pushes back. Or you prioritize your partner over your own family and your mom starts to freak out and complain that your partner is dividing the family.

Hopefully this episode is relevant and helpful if you’re in that situation.

Laura Heck

Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist, speaker and trainer, certified Gottman therapist, and specializes in working with couples who are stuck in a rut. She teaches couples tools to reinvent a new partnership, develop healthy habits and reignite lost passion. Laura is mom to a three year old, wife to a patient husband and lover of fitness, health and wellness.

What to do when you're hurting

Your partner roll’s their eyes at you, and sighs in exasperation. You feel a dagger of embarrassment and shame run through your heart.

You are having a great day when suddenly your partner bursts through the door after a stressful day. You can tell they’re in a bad mood. They are short-tempered with you, and your stomach balls up in knots from the stress they brought into the room.

Your partner says something that makes you feel like they’re intentionally targeting what they know to be one of your biggest insecurities, or sensitive subjects. You withdraw, shut down, and a sense of betrayal and sadness washes over you like an unexpected cold ocean wave.

Things like this happen all the time in marriage.

Sometimes they happen because our partner is being an inconsiderate turd. Other times we just take things out of context.

So, how do you know when the pain you’re feeling is due to poor behavior that you should address with your partner, as opposed to when it’s a hypersensitivity that you need to address on your own by learning to self-soothe and give your partner the benefit of the doubt?

Kyle Benson and I talk about learning to regulate your emotions and deal with stressful situations in this episode.

Kyle Benson

Hi, I’m Kyle. I study how partners in healthy relationships intentionally – talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. My work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more.

My website started in the hardest and loneliest moments of my life. You can read my story here and on DatingAdvice.com. 

The Suzuki Method with Georgia Anderson

SHOW NOTES

The Suzuki Method is an internationally recognized music curriculum that is very similar to the way we acquire language. Suzuki believed that even a toddler could learn to play the violin at a high level if the steps were small enough.

In this episode, Georgia shows us how we can use the Suzuki Method to create epic relationships.

Georgia Anderson

A Certified Active Parenting Instructor, Gottman Trained Educator, and Trainer for the Protective Factors for Strengthening Families, Georgia has been facilitating parenting and family relations classes for over 25 years. She runs the Us Elevated couples retreat at Bryce Canyon twice a year. She is a family/couples coach and educator offering Emotion Coaching, Co-Parenting, Stepfamily, and New Parent Education and Support, as well as the popular Think/Do Challenge, a texting prompt to promote more positivity at home. She's also an avid hiker, skier, and adventurer. Georgia is a wife, mother, stepmother, mother-in-law, and grandmother to 26 people she adores. Learn more on instagram @knowhomomtips or at knowhowmom.com.

Meet Kenton