Gerritt was working long, intense, stressful hours as a police officer.
He’d come home at the end of the day exhausted after a long 13-hour shift, dealing with criminals and paperwork.
He’d walk through the door, and it often felt like he was just met with a to-do list from his wife.
He could tell his kids were growing more and more distant. Many nights they’d already be asleep when he got home.
He eventually started hitting up bars after his shift to unwind with a little alcohol and some buddies.
After a while, the alcohol wasn’t enough of an escape.
He started getting depressed. So he met with a doctor who gave him some medication… which he abused with the booze.
He started working longer hours to avoid going home where he’d have to face his failure as a husband and father.
Nothing he did could fill the hole of inadequacy and emptiness he carried around with him.
His marriage was falling apart.
Eventually he even turned to another woman to give him what he wasn’t getting at home.
It didn’t help. In fact, it made things worse.
One day after a particularly long shift, he sat in his car in the parking garage and took a look at the gun on his belt… and he wondered if the world would be better without him.
It was at that point that Gerritt decided to turn his life around.
He decided instead of blaming people, substances, and circumstances for not filling the hole he felt in himself, he would take responsibility for filling it himself.
Over several months and years he completely turned his life, and his marriage around. (To hear more about his story, listen to today’s podcast episode embedded above.)
The POWERFUL lesson I was left with after I interviewed Gerritt is that the best way to transform your life, or your marriage, is by transforming yourself.
The marriage you currently have is the marriage you’ve chosen for yourself.
And if you want a different marriage or a different life, all you have to do is start making different choices.
It’s so simple, but it’s SO powerful.
If Gerritt can dig himself out of addiction, depression, divorce, and suicidal thoughts - and create a life with a vibrant, fulfilling marriage, meaningful work, and a desire to lift up everyone he comes in contact with - imagine what YOU could do if you chose to outgrow your problems!
What’s the problem you continue to bump into? The thing that’s standing between you and the life or marriage you want? What’s the thing preventing you from taking that next step forward?
How could you approach it differently to maybe get different results?
Leave your ideas in the comments!