Love Health Revolution - Day 1

Day 1

Welcome to the Love Health Revolution!

I am beyond ecstatic you’ve chosen to join us during  this 30-day reformation of self. To kick things off, let me provide a little foundation on which we will build our health, habits and happiness over the next month.

Two years ago if you’d asked me if I practiced “wellness”, I would have looked at you like you’d asked me to pull a rabbit from a black hat. At this time in my life, I was overweight, overstressed and overwhelmed with life’s trials and tasks. Now if you’d asked me the same question only 18 months months ago, I would have likely been able to conjure up a semi- intelligent response revolving around weight loss and healthy-eating habits. You see, 18 months ago, I changed. I had just lost 34 pounds by doing something very powerful: eating food. REAL food- not those boxed, bagged or otherwise packaged imitators. The effects were undeniably remarkable and absolutely propelled me down a path of passion for health. Yet, even still, at that time in my journey I’m not sure I would have recognized the essential transformation beyond my body.

See, we’ve been programmed to think that “health” is simply cracking the code of numbers. Lower weight. Smaller pant size. Less calories. That somehow when we unlock these and obtain the physical body we dream waits within the vault… we’ll hold utopia in our hands. 

Yes, the physical function and performance of our bodies is absolutely critical for good health. We all know this— so let’s leave that point on our horizon uncontested. However, let’s try something new. Put down the binoculars that have us hyper-focused on equivocating diet and doubled-up workouts to “being healthy”.  The horizon of health stretches wide and is as beautifully diverse as the colors in a sunset sinking behind the sea. And I challenge you to seek for something new in this masterpiece before you: wellness. What an absolutely refreshing word!

Let’s. Be. WELL.

Perhaps I find this so appealing because I have a testimony of its sustaining fulfillment. I’ve dropped below my goal weight, I’ve worn the dress size I only dreamed of… and I’ve not been well. I’ve been the opposite. I couldn’t understand why if I’d achieved what the world told me was “healthy"— how I could still feel so completely UN-healthy.  I hadn’t recognized true wellness as multi-dimensional and going much, much deeper.

Physical.

Spiritual.

Emotional.

Intellectual.

Social.

These are the five pillars upon which I invite you to rebuild your foundation of health and wellness. During this 30-Day Challenge, each of these dimensions will receive their due discussion and limelight; along with daily, easy-to-implement tips and challenges to infuse wellness into both life and love. Cause this, my friends, is the ultimate goal here: love of health AND love of self. A kind of love that encompasses not just you and me- but mankind and mate. Herein lies the power of the LOVE HEALTH revolution.

To the wonderful life of wellness,

Meg

Daily Challenge

Today’s invitation is simple but profound in preparing you for your own personal wellness journey. Find a place where you won’t be disturbed and lie down on the ground (yes, on the ground, not your bed). Lie face up with your arms and legs spread out—starfish style—and your body relaxed. In yoga, they call this shavasana. It is a time at the end of an exerting practice to reset and regroup.

Now commit to silence and close your eyes. While wrapped in this solace of self-awareness, begin illustrating your own vision of wellness. What does emotional wellness feel like? How does physical wellness look? How might spiritual wellness elevate your life? Which social circles in your life need a well boost? How does intellectual wellness dictate your day? As each of these dimensions permeate your consciousness, allow them to sink in and ponder their meaning to your life, health and love. This may take you 60 seconds or 6 minutes. Either way, when you rise from the ground, do so knowing that you just laid the first crucial bricks in building your foundation for lasting wellness.

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[jbox title="About the Author:" border="5" radius="15"] Megan is a Doctor of Audiology, Holistic Nutritionist, wife, yoga-lover and ever-evolving health aspirer. Having transformed her own health, she’s eager to help you transform yours. She believes in power in its purest form: FOOD. Whole foods, to be precise. So pick up a fork and join her in a revolution of habits, health and happiness. A WHOLE new life awaits! Read more about her reformation of health and wellness at My Whole Food Habit.[/jbox]

30 Day Wellness Challenge

It's That Time of Year...

About 2 weeks ago many of us ambitiously set aggressive new years resolutions with the intent to change our lives! Do you remember them?

You're going to eat healthier and exercise regularly.

You're going to start waking up earlier to meditate or finally try yoga.

You're going to stop working so much and start spending more time with the people you love.

You're going to reconnect with old friends, or finish reading that pile of books sitting on your nightstand.

Typically (at least for me) it's around this 2-week mark that my determination starts to fade and I start to slip back into old habits... but not this year!

This year I decided to ask for some inspiration and help from my good friend Megan over at My Whole Food Habit.

The Challenge

Megan has generously agreed to create a 30-day wellness challenge for The Loveumentary community.

Starting on the 15th of January I'm turning the blog over to her. Every day she's going to leave a post on the blog that will to show us how easy it is to take better care of ourselves.

This is important for many reasons:

1. Taking care of yourself (aka practicing self love) is essential to creating amazing relationships. When you are emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually, and socially healthy, you have SO much more to offer those you love. And who wants to be a mediocre lover?
2. Keeping your resolutions shows your level of commitment to keeping your promises to yourself and others. The level of intimacy and commitment you experience in your relationships is directly correlated to your ability to develop trust. And your ability to develop trust is 100% reliant on your ability to make and keep promises. In other words, awesome relationships = making and keeping promises with people. Prove to yourself that your word is good by making a promise to yourself (or a resolution) and keeping it!
3. Happiness comes from progress and growth. We are often scared of change, but change is what makes us strong, helps us learn, and makes us happy. If you're feeling unfulfilled, stuck, or depressed, it might be because you just need to shake things up a bit. There aren't many better ways to do that than to introduce some new and uncomfortable habits into your life.

The thing I love about Megan and the challenge she has put together is that she puts a strong focus on overall wellness. So, the next 30 days won't just be dedicated to doing exercise and eating healthy. She's also going to encourage us to nurture our most important relationships, show us easy ways to stimulate our minds, and guide us through a little spiritual growth.

If you want to receive these daily posts by email, you can sign up here:

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You can also follow the challenge on The Loveumentary Facebook and Instagram pages. And don't forget to follow My Whole Food Habit on Facebook and Instagram for more amazing wellness tips, recipes, and ideas.

If you REALLY want to take this challenge seriously, join the Loveumentary's 30 Day Challenge Facebook Group for daily encouragement and support from other people all over the world who will be doing the challenge with you!

Let's help each other stay committed to those resolutions! When we change ourselves, we change the world.

-Nate

Love Podcast Seeks Awesome Intern

I'm on the lookout for an awesome audio intern!

I love The Loveumentary podcast. The podcast is the backbone of the whole concept of The Loveumentary. However, I find myself getting more and more busy... which means I'm not giving the podcast the love and time it deserves.

I would LOVE some help with editing to get more episodes of The Loveumentary published regularly.

My goal is to start publishing episodes on a weekly basis. I currently have dozens of unedited episodes on my hard drive just waiting to be polished up and let loose on the internet.

Here's what I'm looking for:

• If you are someone who has a background in audio.
• If you are someone who believes in true love and making a difference in the world.
• If you are someone who is ambitious and reliable. (I would love to just be able to get you files and not worry about whether or not an episode will be ready every week.)
• If you are someone who is creative - yes I will allow you to have some creative freedom here. (If you think you can improve the podcast, let's make it happen!)

Then I want to talk to you... Drop me a line!

Here's what I can offer you:

• Regular weekly relationship/love coaching
• Your name on The Loveumentary website
• Need college credit? I'll fill out that paperwork for you.
• Introductions to awesome people in the business and relationship world
• My sincere thanks

About the Podcast

• We had over 100,000 downloads between iTunes, Soundcloud, and other podcast databases in 2014.
• We have a growing fan base on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and elsewhere on the web.
• We're getting access to more and more influencers and difference-makers in the love industry.
• Most importantly, we're making a difference in peoples lives.

If you or someone you know can help, please let me know! Thanks you lovers of love.

Why Being a Fixer is Actually Making Things Worse... And How To Stop

I have a habit of being a fixer. When something goes wrong, or causes unpleasantness, or weighs me or the ones I love down, I want to find the solution and get back to "normal" as quickly as possible.

I find a pleasure in making pain (whether mine or that of others) go away. On the other hand, I tend to freak out quite a bit when those I love experience pain and I can't do anything to make it go away.

I've been working on this aspect of myself, because I know it's holding me back in a lot of aspects of my life.

During a conversation with my good friend, Amber Rae, she not only crystalized how the "Fix It" mindset can be so damaging, but she also beautifully expressed a far better alternative to fixing everyone's problems all the time.

Here are Amber's words (which I've edited a little bit for the sake of clarity). They are being used with her permission:

"I have a tendency to want to fix things for people, which causes suffering on both ends. I've learned that what's even more powerful than fixing is holding space...

I'm learning this with Farhad (Amber's fiance) because when he's going throughs something, I want to fix it. Then I began to feel helpless because there was nothing I could do and I thought I was being a bad partner who could never be of service to Farhad. He never wanted me to solve anything for him. He is a brilliant problem solver. He wanted me to love him and hold safe space for him."

This conversation made me wonder how often I've smothered those I love with attempts to fix their problems when all they needed was for me to hold space for them to struggle, sort things out, and grow on their own.

What I've learned about myself over the last several months as I've become aware of, and observed this tendency to fix is that for a long time I told myself that I was doing the fixing to help others. It recently became clear that the real reason I fix is more selfish.

I am a fixer because I don't like being uncomfortable. If I can make problems go away (whether mine or others), then I can get back to living comfortably again.

I am a fixer because I've told myself the story that if you aren't happy when your with me then there must be a problem with me. I am not enough for you. I am afraid you will leave me if you are not happy when I'm near.

I fix to avoid confronting my own insecurities, and use the convenient alibi that it's really all about you.

My new goal for 2015 is not to solve the problems of the people that I love, but to hold space for them, and allow them to find their own answers. Rather than being the handyman, I will be the gardner who waits, and nourishes, an supports, and gives space for people around me to bloom.

Are you a fixer? How has this affected your relationships? What happens when you try to fix others or solve their problems for you?

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A Soft Place To Land

One thing I love about my fiancée is that she's always a soft place to land for me.

I often come to her with worries, concerns, or struggles. Sometimes I experience a lot of fear and anxiety around these conversations. I fear that my weaknesses and imperfections will make me unworthy of love.

Yet every time I push through the resistance and open up to her, I am met with more of her patient love, understanding, and acceptance.

She has never raised her voice at me. She has never judged me or thrown my mistakes or fears back into my face.

I have never experienced love and acceptance like that before, and I know that if we can continue to be a soft place to land for each other through our struggles, and trials, and hardships that we will be able to make it through anything life throws our way.

Having a soft place to land - or someone you can talk to about anything without fear of judgement - is so important. Here are some of the things that can help you be a soft place to land for the people you love:

Just Listen

Don't give advice. Don't pull weird faces. Don't fix things. Don't ask questions.

Just listen.

Whatever the person across from you is sharing is not easy to say. Sit quietly and take it all in.

Reinforce Their Value

Sometimes all we need to hear as humans is that it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to mess up. It's ok to have weaknesses.

After listening, reassure them that they are still loved. Tell them how important they are to you no matter how much they screw up.

This will help prevent the people you love from falling into a shame cycle, and it will make it easier to come to you in the future.

Forgive

If you are in the place to do so, offer forgiveness.

Forgive quickly and often (when abuse and addictions are not a factor).

When people are freed from the burdens of guilt, they show up for you in the most beautiful and spectacular way. Forgiveness is magical, and when coupled with gratitude, will transform a marriage.

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The Loveumentary Turns 2! (And I Have A Gift For You!)

Hey there! I can't believe it! A few weeks ago, The Loveumentary celebrated its 2nd birthday!

I can't tell you how incredibly lucky I feel to have had the opportunity to follow this pipe dream and facilitate this amazing community. Over the last 24 months I've had the privilege of publishing over 50 podcast episodes, speaking in front of audiences all over the country, seeing over thousands of people follow The Loveumentary on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, iTunes and Soundcloud.

The most amazing thing I've been able to experience, however, has been meeting so many of you. I am so inspired by your stories, your support, and your dedication to creating amazing love in your lives. Thank you so much for being who you are. The world needs more people like you.

I wanted to do something for you to show my gratitude for your influence in my life... but first a little context so you understand the gift:

The Context

Many of you may not know that early last year I started a company called Unbox Love. It's a subscription service that delivers a date-in-a-box to couples every single month.

My goal when I started this company was to make it easier for couples to make memories, have amazing conversations, and spent meaningful time together. I'm happy to say that, I feel like we're fulfilling on that mission for hundreds of couples every month.

We've put together some really cool dates for people, from meaningful art projects to chocolate-making classes. But there are some dates that we've dreamed up that just won't fit in a box... and that's where my gift to you comes in.

The Gift

My honest goal with The Loveumentary, Unbox Love, and to be quite frank, with my life is to help as many people as possible experience more incredible love.

That being said, my gift for you is two fold:

1. If you click here, you can sign up to get one of my favorite won't-fit-in-a-box dates delivered to your inbox once a month for 6 months. In these emails I've included all the steps you need to take to create an amazing, romantic and meaningful date night with your spouse or significant other.If you feel like you've run out of date ideas, if you constantly find yourself too busy to plan date night, if you feel like your relationship is growing stale, or if you just want a few extra creative ideas for your relationship, then these emails are for you.This project took hours and hours of work, but I want to give it to you for free in the hopes that it will result in some awesome make-outs, meaningful conversations, or just some great memories for you.

   I'd also love it if you'd share this with your friends (if you feel so inclined). The more love we create and spread, the better this world will be!

2. Secondly, I want to offer you a 20% discount for an Unbox Love subscription. Just use the code "LOVEUMENTARY". (I'd give you a box for free if I could, but I can't afford it right now.)We've never offered anyone a discount before, but there's no group of people I'd rather offer one to than you. You deserve it. You are my friends, my supporters, and very often the reason I get up in the morning.You motivate me to write, to learn, to edit, interview, share, speak, and strive to be a better person. For that I'm truly grateful.

   The code will be live through the first week of the new year. I hope you use it, and enjoy it. Our upcoming Valentines Day box is being curated with the help of the incredible team over at The Gottman Institute and will be legendary!

   Click here to sign up!

Thank you again for being who you are. I hope 2015 is a year full of love, success, growth, and progress for you. If there's ever anything I can do for you, you can schedule an appointment to chat with me here.

So much love to you,

Nate

Your Greatest Sacrifice Will Be Your Greatest Investment

Big investments always require significant thought, faith, a whole lot of due diligence, and plenty of sacrifice. Committing to spend the rest of your life with someone, and deciding how to spend that life together is arguably the biggest investment you can make. It means investing your hopes, dreams, patience, love, time, and even your body in someone else's hopes, dreams, patience, love, time and body.

But remember, the biggest investments and the greatest sacrifices often have the highest payout... And the sacrifice you make now for the one you love will prove to be one of your greatest investments.

If True Love Doesn't Terrify You, You're Not Really Getting It

Love has a way of always pushing your limits and exposing your weaknesses. If you're feeling stretched, pushed, or even terrified, it's a good sign that you're probably doing it right.

Be willing to go to that scary place, have the hard conversation, and confront your demons..

Pushing through your discomfort will only bring you closer together.

If your love is always easy, you're probably not growing... And that means you're missing out.

Nobody Likes A Complainer

When you complain, you make yourself a victim.

A victim is powerless. A victim has no freedom. A victim cannot, or will not change their circumstances.

Few things kill love faster than a person who constantly complains.

Rather than complain, look for something positive to talk about. Find a way to draw a lesson, or an opportunity out of a negative experience. Use challenging situations to bring you closer together rather than tear you apart.

Here's your mission for today: Set a goal to go 24 hours without complaining. If you complain, your 24 hours resets. (Laying in bed all day is not an option for completing this challenge.)

Let me know how it goes!

Oh, and follow The Loveumentary on Instagram!

Practice Creates The Master

Practice makes perfect.

But practice - good practice - is rarely easy. It requires dedication and perseverance. It requires us to push through walls and do things we don't want to do.

Practicing love, especially when loving is hard, is the only way to master it.

You don't need to talk about it, justify it, or even dream about it. You just need to practice.

What areas in your life need improving? How can you lean into the discomfort and pain and force yourself to fall in love with the practice?

Follow me on Instagram. It will be awesome.